Event Comment: Thomas Brown to
George Moult, 12 Sept. 1699: But tho'
Bartholomew-Fair is dead
and buried for a twelvemonth, yet it is some consolation to us, that it revives in both the play-houses. Poetry is so little regarded there,
and the audience is so taken up with show
and sight, that an author will not much trouble himself about his thoughts
and language, so he is but in fee with the dancing-masters,
and has a few luscious songs to lard his dry composition. One would almost swear, that
Smithfield had removed into
Drury-lane and Lincolns-Inn-Fields, since they set so small a value on good sense,
and so great a one on trifles that have no relation to the play. By the by, I am to tell you, that some of their late bills are so very monstrous, that neither we, nor our forefathers, ever knew anything like them: They are as long as the title-pages to some of
Mr Prynn's works; nay, you may much sooner dispatch the
Gazette, even when it is most crowded with advertisements.
And as their bills are so prodigious, so are the entertainments they present us with: For, not to mention the
Bohemian women, that first taught us how to dance
and swim together; not the famous
Mr Clinch of
Barnet, with his kit
and organ; nor the worthy gentlemen that condescended to dance a
Cheshirerounds, at the instance of several persons of quality; nor t'other gentleman that sung like a turky-cock; nor, lastly, that prodigy of a man that mimick'd the harmony of the
Essex lions; not to mention these
and a hundred other notable curiosities, we have been so unmercifully over-run with an inundation of Monsieurs from
Paris, that one would be almost tempted to wish that the war had still continued, if it were for no other reason but because it would have prevented the coming over of these light-heel'd gentlemen, who have been a greater plague to our theatres, than their privateers were to our merchantmen. Shortly, I suppose, we shall be entertain'd here with all sorts of sights
and shows, as, jumping thro' a hoop; (for why should not that be as proper as
Mr Sympson's vaulting upon the wooden-horses?) dancing upon the high ropes, leaping over eight men's heads, wrestling, boxing, cudgelling, fighting at back-sword, quarter-staff, bear-baiting,
and all the other noble exercises that divert the good folk at
Hockley; for when once such an infection as this has gain'd ground upon us, who can tell where it will stop? What a wretched pass is this wicked age come to, when
Ben. Johnson and Shakespear won't relish without these bagatelles to recommend them,
and nothing but farce
and grimace will go down? For my part, I wonder they have not incorporated
parson Burgess into their
society; for after the auditors are stupify'd with a dull scene or so, he would make a shift to relieve them. In short,
Mr Collier may save himself the trouble of writing against the theatre; for, if these lewd practices are not laid aside,
and sense
and wit don't come into play again, a man may easily foretell, without pretending to the gift of prophecy, that the stage will be shortliv'd,
and the strong
Kentish man will take possession of the two play-houses, as he has already done of that in
Dorset-Garden (
The Works of Thomas Brown, 4th ed. [
London, 1715], I, 216-18)